Fact & Fantasy 9
AUSTRALIAN COWS AND SHEEP RELEASE 60 MILLION TONS OF GAS EACH YEAR.
A poll published this month found that nearly one in three [North] Americans believe that Canada is one of the states in their union.
KKK roadside cleanup: The U.S. Supreme Court recently ruled that the state of Missouri cannot discriminate against the Ku Klux Klan when it comes to groups that want to participate in the adopt-a-highway program. While seeing the name of the Klan on a highway sign is aesthetically disgusting, most realized that this decision was a victory for free speech and equal protection under the law.
Well, the Department of Transportation in Missouri has gotten its revenge, and boy is it sweet. True, they can't remove the KKK's adopt-a-highway sign, but no one would dispute the state's right to name the highway itself. The KKK is now regularly cleaning up a stretch of the newly christened "Rosa Parks Freeway".
A State University of New York at Buffalo professor, in a recent ecology journal, expressed confidence that eventually butterflies could be genetically altered to permit advertising logos and other designs on their wings. And the British video game company, Acclaim Entertainment, announced it would "raise advertising to a new level" by offering to pay relatives of the deceased a fee if it could put small billboards on gravestones.
Quotes, sayings.
1. LIBERALS feel unworthy of their possessions. CONSERVATIVES feel they deserve everything they've stolen." (Mort Sahl)]
2. When I asked about being born again, my mother refused. (Paul Moor)
3. If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it's good enough for me. (An Arkansas congressman to the Joint National Committee on Language)
4. If at first you do succeed, hide your astonishment. (Harry F. Banks)
5. Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
According to medieval thinkers, the Virgin Mary's unbroken hymen was likened to "a pane of glass that the sun passed through without piercing."
Estimate amount the USA spends each year safeguarding oil supplies in the Persian Gulf: $50,000,000,000.
THOUGHTS ON PATRIOTISM The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country. (Herman Goering at the Nuremberg trial)
- if Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah. - if Mike, Charlie, Dave and John go out together, they will refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Scrappy and Peanut-Head.
The History of Medicine:
2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.
2002 A.D. - That antibiotic doesn't work any more - here, eat this root.
When Heinz ketchup leaves the bottle it travels at a rate of 25 miles per year.
"Statistics" and Statistics
1. The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime.
2. Rubber bands last longer if refrigerated.
3. According to various estimates, it takes about 360 gallons of water and five to eight pounds of grain to produce one pound of beef.
4. In the USA, the car industry uses 1/5 of the country's steel and 2/3 of its rubber.
5. Physicists at Washington University in Seattle have determined that the Earth weighs 5,972 billion billion tonnes, 6 billion billion tonnes lighter than previously thought.
A NEW TERM: matriotism love of, and allegiance to, Mother Earth.
